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THE CHICAGO GOSSIP
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THE CHICAGO GOSSIP
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Kathy PosnerMy friend Linda thinks I am a “character” and thought it would be interesting for me to disclose some of the quirks that a bio does not reveal. So this blog is for Linda.
DVR
The other day I received a notice that RCN, my cable provider, wanted me to upgrade my DVR box. You can imagine the technological panic I went into. I currently know how to use my DVR remote now and a new piece of equipment would mean I would have to learn a whole new set of protocols. I called RCN and told them that I refused to upgrade. I discovered that I will have to pay $15/month NOT to take the more advanced system because the company wants to phase out the old boxes. The $15 monthly fee is my “punishment” for not accepting the new equipment.
Knowing that someday soon, I will have to swap boxes, I realized that all of the shows I have set on “series record” would go away. I hired my friend Patti to come to my home and type a list of all the shows I like to watch. It was an astounding 139 titles! Since many of those shows are cable productions that only air 13 weeks, they come and go. But on any day, I am probably recording 10 shows. Since I cannot watch ten shows each evening (I never watch TV during the day), I realize now that I don’t even get to most of them. I speed through those I do watch at lightning speed. I not only fast forward through the commercials, but through most of the show itself. I watch the hour-long “Extreme Make Over - Weight Loss Edition” in about nine minutes. I care about who the person is, a few minutes of their journey and then the final result.
WRITING CHECKS
I do not not like writing a check for an odd amount of money with cents in it. So while my electric bill might be $123.47, I send ComEd a check for $125. It does not cost me anything because the extra $1.53 just gets credited to the next month’s bill. I do that with all my bills. I am a member of Mensa, so it is not that I do not know how to add and subtract, I just like all my checks to be an even amount. It’s also fun because I know the clerk receiving the check has to do the extra work of applying the credit.
BREAD AND CHEESE
Close friends know that I do not eat bread or cheese. I gave them up four years ago because I had a bread and cheese addiction problem. I would eat a whole basket of bread smothered with cheese while waiting for a meal at a restaurant. So I eat neither anymore. On my list of foods for my last meal before the electric chair, I have toasted bagel with cream cheese, French toast and my favorite sandwich of all time -- bologna on toasted raisin bread with mayonnaise, mustard, pickles, cheese and lettuce. The sandwich is then heated in the microwave so the bologna and cheese get hot. I will have to move to another state because Illinois has outlawed the death penalty, so the chances of my going to the electric chair are nil.
AMAZON.COM
I shop on Amazon.com every day. I have a membership called “Prime” where I get free two day shipping on anything. So even if I just need a few pens, I buy them on Amazon.com. Why bother going to the store?
TEXT MESSAGES
The two people who text message me by far—I means 100’s more compared to my other friends --are radio personality Mancow Muller and former Illinois Gubernatorial candidate Scott Lee Cohen. I make the joke that if I collapsed and a stranger looked at my text messages to figure out who to contact they would be surprised.
RANGE OF FRIENDS
I have a wide range of friends.
INDOOR TEMPERATURE
I have six HVAC zones in my home and I keep the air conditioning going 24 hours a day in the summer. My apartment is so cold that I have to use an electric blanket at night -- even when it is 106 degrees outside. If friends come over in the summer, they always have to borrow a sweater.
I make up for my excessive electricity use in the summer, by doing the opposite in the winter. I have never turned on the heat in my home. Because I live on a high floor, everybody else’s heat leaks into my unit.
SOME FACTOIDS
I have never taken a vacation. I do not use soap on my face. I never wear sneakers or go barefoot. I only read hardcover non-fiction books-- I usually finish a book in one night. I almost never go to the movies-maybe once a year. I don’t drink coffee or alcohol. I was once Number 11 in the lottery.
SUPERMARKET
I do not go to the supermarket because I only keep Diet Coke ( okay I admit to drinking it again), Lean Cuisine and "bag o salad" in my refrigerator. I just order from Peapod.
CONCLUSION
I am nuts. Which, by the way I don’t eat.
Editors Note: I've said this before, but Kathy Posner has class. She forgot to mention when she goes to a restaurant, she always orders a napkin that matches her dress. She arranges this before hand. Every cloth napkin could be white in the restaurant, but if she wears black, the restaurant makes sure her napkin is black. Pure style!
DVR
The other day I received a notice that RCN, my cable provider, wanted me to upgrade my DVR box. You can imagine the technological panic I went into. I currently know how to use my DVR remote now and a new piece of equipment would mean I would have to learn a whole new set of protocols. I called RCN and told them that I refused to upgrade. I discovered that I will have to pay $15/month NOT to take the more advanced system because the company wants to phase out the old boxes. The $15 monthly fee is my “punishment” for not accepting the new equipment.
Knowing that someday soon, I will have to swap boxes, I realized that all of the shows I have set on “series record” would go away. I hired my friend Patti to come to my home and type a list of all the shows I like to watch. It was an astounding 139 titles! Since many of those shows are cable productions that only air 13 weeks, they come and go. But on any day, I am probably recording 10 shows. Since I cannot watch ten shows each evening (I never watch TV during the day), I realize now that I don’t even get to most of them. I speed through those I do watch at lightning speed. I not only fast forward through the commercials, but through most of the show itself. I watch the hour-long “Extreme Make Over - Weight Loss Edition” in about nine minutes. I care about who the person is, a few minutes of their journey and then the final result.
WRITING CHECKS
I do not not like writing a check for an odd amount of money with cents in it. So while my electric bill might be $123.47, I send ComEd a check for $125. It does not cost me anything because the extra $1.53 just gets credited to the next month’s bill. I do that with all my bills. I am a member of Mensa, so it is not that I do not know how to add and subtract, I just like all my checks to be an even amount. It’s also fun because I know the clerk receiving the check has to do the extra work of applying the credit.
BREAD AND CHEESE
Close friends know that I do not eat bread or cheese. I gave them up four years ago because I had a bread and cheese addiction problem. I would eat a whole basket of bread smothered with cheese while waiting for a meal at a restaurant. So I eat neither anymore. On my list of foods for my last meal before the electric chair, I have toasted bagel with cream cheese, French toast and my favorite sandwich of all time -- bologna on toasted raisin bread with mayonnaise, mustard, pickles, cheese and lettuce. The sandwich is then heated in the microwave so the bologna and cheese get hot. I will have to move to another state because Illinois has outlawed the death penalty, so the chances of my going to the electric chair are nil.
AMAZON.COM
I shop on Amazon.com every day. I have a membership called “Prime” where I get free two day shipping on anything. So even if I just need a few pens, I buy them on Amazon.com. Why bother going to the store?
TEXT MESSAGES
The two people who text message me by far—I means 100’s more compared to my other friends --are radio personality Mancow Muller and former Illinois Gubernatorial candidate Scott Lee Cohen. I make the joke that if I collapsed and a stranger looked at my text messages to figure out who to contact they would be surprised.
RANGE OF FRIENDS
I have a wide range of friends.
INDOOR TEMPERATURE
I have six HVAC zones in my home and I keep the air conditioning going 24 hours a day in the summer. My apartment is so cold that I have to use an electric blanket at night -- even when it is 106 degrees outside. If friends come over in the summer, they always have to borrow a sweater.
I make up for my excessive electricity use in the summer, by doing the opposite in the winter. I have never turned on the heat in my home. Because I live on a high floor, everybody else’s heat leaks into my unit.
SOME FACTOIDS
I have never taken a vacation. I do not use soap on my face. I never wear sneakers or go barefoot. I only read hardcover non-fiction books-- I usually finish a book in one night. I almost never go to the movies-maybe once a year. I don’t drink coffee or alcohol. I was once Number 11 in the lottery.
SUPERMARKET
I do not go to the supermarket because I only keep Diet Coke ( okay I admit to drinking it again), Lean Cuisine and "bag o salad" in my refrigerator. I just order from Peapod.
CONCLUSION
I am nuts. Which, by the way I don’t eat.
Editors Note: I've said this before, but Kathy Posner has class. She forgot to mention when she goes to a restaurant, she always orders a napkin that matches her dress. She arranges this before hand. Every cloth napkin could be white in the restaurant, but if she wears black, the restaurant makes sure her napkin is black. Pure style!
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